Saying I Love You

How intentional are you at telling your husband or wife “I Love You” when they or you leave for work each day? Some spouses might believe that’s really not that important, but for Lynne and me, not saying I love you is kind of like leaving our front door unlocked. What’s on the inside of our home is now vulnerable to theft and if left open long enough, someone else will likely come and steal what doesn’t belong to them. 

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Acting Your Way to a Feeling

Have you ever heard, “It’s better to act your way into a feeling, opposed to feel your way into an action?” Working with couples who are struggling in marriage, I often hear things like I simply don’t feel like extending blessings or serving my spouse according to their love language.” What they are really saying is they feel hurt, frustrated, or possibly disrespected. Therefore, they see no need to act in a way that could possibly lead to more hurt, frustration or disrespect.

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Assuming Positive Intentions

Some pop psychologists believe the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. While this may sound like sound logic at first, it is really a misguided oversimplification. For this to be  accurate, every specific condition of the first situation must be exactly the same as the previous situation. Believe it or not, that is difficult to achieve. In marriage, we often allow the past negative behavior of our spouse to become the default predictors of future outcomes.

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