Is All Conflict Bad?

It's incredibly difficult to avoid conflict in marriage. But did you know that every conflict is actually a great opportunity for husband and wife to become closer? Sound a little strange? Well, maybe it is because for most of us, we don't naturally have a positive view of conflict and therefore it is hard for us to recognize conflict as an opportunity for growth. It's not the circumstance that creates the crisis. Most often, it's how we handle the circumstance. 

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Preparing Your Response

MRI imaging supports the notion that when we hear information that triggers our emotions, we tend to quickly conclude the other person’s intentions and motivations based on how we feel. Regarding marriage, these emotions also serve as filters that enable us to prepare our responses long before our spouse stops talking. All too often, this leads to character assassination, which usually results in both spouses feeling hurt, frustrated or angry. 

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Affection Through Small Things

Early in our marriage, my job required me to travel almost weekly. I still remember how difficult it was to be separated from my wife Lynne and our children for such long periods of time. In order to make being away less painful, Lynne consistently put small surprises in my suitcase just to remind me of how much she loved and missed me. Most of the time I could hear her voice and sometimes even smell her fragrance as I read her card or note. In marriage, it’s typically the small expressions of love done consistently over time that tend to get us through the difficult times and keep our marriage strong. 

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